Fencing!!

Three guys were trying to sneak into the Asian Games Village at Busan, South Korea to scoop souvenirs and autographs.
The first says, "Let`s watch the registration table to see if there`s a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in."Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, "Fan Zhiyi. China. Shotput." He opens his gym bag to display a shotput to the registration attendant. The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. Fan Zhiyi. Here is your packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information." The first guy gets inspired and grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs and roots, walks up the registration table and states: "Chang Koehan. North Korea. Javelin." The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. Koehan. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!"
The second guy grabs a street utility manhole cover, walks up to the registration table and states: "Hidetoshi Nakata. Japan. Discus."
The attendant says, "Terrific, Mr. Nakata. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself."
They scamper in, but suddenly realize that Banta is missing. They forgot to make sure he doesn`t do something stupid and blow their cover stories.
Just then Santa walks proudly up to the table with a roll of barbed wire under his arm and states: "Banta. Hoshiarpur, Punjab. FENCING."  Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny

Thumb wipe!

Banta was driving down the street looking for a place to stop so he could go to the bathroom. He stopped at a bar and went inside.
"Bartender! Where is the bathroom, I really need to go?!" he asked.
The bartender pointed him to the bathroom. So Banta went to the bathroom and looked over to the side. There was no toilet paper!
"Oh no!"
He looked over again and saw a sign that said: If out of toilet paper use your thumb and ask the bartender for a "thumb wipe". "Bartender!" he said.
"What can I do for you?" asked the bartender.
"Um.. there was no toilet paper and I need a thumb wipe.
"Oh," said the bartender. "Put your thumb on the bar."
"On the bar?"
The bartender replied, "Yes, on the bar."
So Banta put his thumb on the bar and the bartender pulled out a hammer and slammed it hard on the Banta's thumb.
Banta's instant reaction was to put his thumb in his mouth. Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny

DEATHS THAT MADE EVEN TOP DOCTORS WONDER...

This case happened in a hospital's Intensive care ward where Patients
Always died in the same bed and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m,
regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even
thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve
the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM. So a world-wide
expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to
investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning
few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside
the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.
Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects
to ward off evil........ Just when the! clock struck 11...


and then......







then.....









then........

















then........

















then........



















then........









Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and
unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner. Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny

Basic training

Santa was in Telecom deptt. before joining the army. As part of his basic training, he went out on the rifle range. He fired 99 shots at the target, and missed the target with every shot! His Drill Instructor was very upset with him.
"What`s the matter with you?" asked the Drill Instructor. "Why can`t you hit the target? What were you in civilian life?"
"I was a telephone man," replied the Bantat, "and I don`t know why I can`t hit the target. Let me see..."
Banta checked his rifle, checked his rifle again, and checked his rifle a third time. He then put his finger in front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger, and blew the end of his finger off!
"Well," Banta said, writhing in pain, "the bullets are leaving here fine. The trouble must be on the other end!" Im with stupid

Refilling!!!

There were these two not so bright guys, Santa and Banta, who had to get across the desert. Since they didn't have enough money for a car so they decided to buy a camel.
The camel dealer promised them that the camel would get them across the desert if they made sure he was full of water before they left.
They took the camel down to the water hole, but the camel would not drink.
Santa says, "I have a idea, why don't I hold his head down in the water and you s**k on his butt. That way the water will be drawn up into him like a straw."
Banta thought about this for a while and finally agreed.
After a while Santa asks, "Well is it working?"
Banta replied, "I think it is going to work, but you have to pick his head up just a little because I'm just getting mud."  Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny

Santa  got his promotion and become an officer in Punjab
Government. To keep up with his status, he decided to speak only in English to
all his subordinates. One morning, his peon peeped through the door to
see if his boss was busy. Santa Singh noticed him and shouted, 'Why are
you outstanding! Please income.'

One Sardar fed up with all Sardar scenarios and went to doctor. He asked doctor to put 1 Kg of brain in his head.
He asked about the cost. Doctor asked him whose brain it shoud be? It depends on that.

Doctor explaining about brain cost
"If Engineers Brain - Rs. 1000 per gram"
"If Doctors Brain - Rs. 1200 per gram"
"If Lawyers Brain - Rs. 2000 per gram"

Sardar questioned "What about a Sardar's ?"
Doctor answered "Its too costly, Rs. 100000 per Gram"

Sardar is happy about the cost of Sardar's brain and he think its precious, but asked doctor with anxiety
"Why? Doctor, Its so costly".
Doctor explained "Because to collect 1 gram brain, do you know how many Sardars are needed?"