Sardarji Kidnapping a Child
 
 
A Sardar Ji was Living hand to Mouth.
In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
 
He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
 
Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid.
Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".
 
Signed: "A Sardarji".
 
Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
 
The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying:
 
"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Take the money, and Please leave my son."
Signed: Another Sardarji.

Sardar enters shop & shouts, "Where's my free gift
    with this oil?"  Shopkeeper: "ISke Saath koi gift
   nahin hai bhaisaab"  Sard : "Oye ispe likha hai
   CHOLESTROL FREE!!"
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       ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND
   SARDAR  DENIED SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY, WE
   MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES..

      MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD, MY BROTHER MARRIED MY
   BHABHI, MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON.  SO
   PLEASE EXCUSE ME  !!!!!
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   Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two beers
    took some sandwiches out of their pockets and
   started to eat  them.   "You can't eat your own
   sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner.  So
   the two sardars swapped (exchanged) their
   sandwiches.
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   A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective
   novels, but he always started reading from the
   middle.   A friend of his asked why he did so?"
   It'z doubly interesting", said the Sardar. "TO start
   from the middle keeps one curious not only about its
   conclusion but also about its beginning.
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   Once a Sardarji was going to his office.   On the
   way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly  hurt.
   Next day ,  on his way to the office, he noticed a
   banana peel  and  Later after two  days, he noticed
   two banana peels and exclaimed" ari  sala, aaj to
   choice hai"!!!!!!
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   A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the
   pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were
   in effect due to the advances in education on earth.
   In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly
   soul must answer two questions:   1. Name two days
   of the week that begin with "T".   2. How many
   seconds are there in a year?   The Sardar thought
   for a few minutes and answered...   1. The two days
   of the week that begin with "T" are Today and
   Tomorrow.   2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
   Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and
   Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I
   expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you
   get only 12 seconds in a year?"   The Sardar
   replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March
   2nd, etc...."   Saint Peter lets him in without
   another word
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   A Sardar, his wife with son and daugher went to a
   party he introduced his family to his friends
   saying.." I am  Sardar.. and this  is Sardarnee
   ...this is my kid and that is my  kidney...!!"
_________________________________________________________
   American says "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."
   Sardarji " India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti
   hai...!!!"
_________________________________________________________
   Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?

   A. Moti-vating..!!!
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   Nurse - "Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban
   gaye.."   Sardarji - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna..
   main use  surprise doonga..!"
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   Dr Chopra psychotherapist wanted 'Sign board' to be
   pained in front of his clinic but our Sardar painter
   painted "Dr Chorpa  Psycho The  Rapist"
________________________________________________________
   What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE
   .........   Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati
   hai......   Doosari bigadati hai to "SHUROO' ho jati
   hai
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   Ek sardar apne bete se bola : Bevakuf, kaisa machis
   leke aaya hai, ek  bhi tili nahin jalti.

      Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test
   karke  laya hu.
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   Man runs home yelling "Pack your bags honey. I just
   won the 10 Million lotto.   Wife : Do I pack for the
   beach or mountains ?   Man : Who cares ? Just pack
   and get lost !
________________________________________________________
   Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood
   group ek hi hai?   Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25
   saalse mera khoon jo  pee rahi hai....
________________________________________________________
   Koun si devi ka kounsa prasad India mein famous hai

   Rabridevi ka laloo prasad
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   A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjab
   today.......

   Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are
   still.....digging for  more.
________________________________________________________
   Sardar found answer to most difficult question
   question ever   What comes first - the chicken or
   the egg ?

      Oye yaar, jiska order pahele dooge, wo ayega !!!

Q. Why can't Sardar dial 911?
A. They can not find the eleven on the phone

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Q. What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
A. He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!

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Q. What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper?
A. As he has already one with him, he takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!

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Q. Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A. Because below 18 was not allowed.

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Q. How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
A. Stick a tyre pressure gauge in his ear.

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Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
A. Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his
mouth.

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Q. How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

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Q. Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
A. So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

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Q. Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
A. They always forget the recipe.

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Q. How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
A. He threw it off a cliff.

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Q. What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel.

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Q. What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
A. The back of his head.
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Q. Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
A. They think their picture is being taken.

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Q. Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
A. Toes Go In First.
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Q. How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.

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Q. How do you get Sardar on the roof?
A. Tell him the drinks are on the house.

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Q. "Oh, look at the dead bird.
A. " Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

Confusion of ownership !

Santa and Banta bought two horses.

Now the problem was that they could not differentiate between the two horses.
So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.When he does so,an enemy of Santa sees him doing so.
This enemy cuts the left ear of Banta s horse. Santa and banta are confused.
So, next thing Santa cuts some body part of his horse and his enemy repeats the same on Bantas horse.
At last Santa s horse had no legs left and Banta s horse was with one leg only.
The enemy also went and cut Banta s horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to differentiate between their horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to their mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and I shall keep the white . Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny

Presence of mind!!

Santa and Banta were in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including Santa ands Banta, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on Santa jams something in Banta`s hand.
Without looking down, Banta whispers, "What is this?"
To which Santa replies, "It`s that Rs 500 I owe you."  Afro

Pole Length

A man walking down the street came upon Santa and Banta who are trying to measure an up-right pole with a yard stick.

Along comes this really big, musclebound shmuck and says, "Hey, what are you guys doing?"

Santa and Banta say, "We're trying to measure the height of this pole."

The man wraps his arms around the pole, pulls it out of the ground, lays it down and measures it. Then he picks it up, puts it back in the ground and says, "22 feets," and walks away.

Santa was now quite mad and yelled back, "You idiot we were not trying to see how long it was...I need to know how high it is!

Explanation!

Santa wired home that he had been able to wind up his business trip a day early and would be home on Wednesday.

When he walked into his apartment, however, he found his wife, Jeeto, in bed with another man. Furious, he picked up his bag and stormed out; he met his mother-in-law on the street, told her what had happened and announced that he was filing a suit for divorce in the morning.

"Give my daughter a chance to explain before you do any thing." the older women pleaded.

Reluctantly, he agreed. An hour later, his mother-in-law phoned Santa at his office.

"I knew my daughter would have an explanation," a note of truimph in her voice. "She didn't receive your telegram!" Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny noteworthy noteworthy noteworthy Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny Too Funny